Our long story shortened...

20 years of being in love

14 years of marital bliss

5 years of infertility

9 months of a high risk pregnancy

2 perfect boys (at the same time)

1 heart failure

1 type 1 diabetes diagnosis

1 happy life

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I am a stay at home mom who is raising twins. One of my guys has type 1 diabetes and one does not. I am writing this blog to unite type 1 parents or twin parents. Comment on my posts or in the "what's your high?" and "what's your low?" to join the community of parents just trying to do the best we can!

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Yin yang twins

Ok, so I have a question for all you twin moms out there? Do twins always end up to being the opposite of each other? 

Since my boys have been babies I have joked with people that I have the blessing and the curse of comparing them at everything they do. Mainly because there are two of them doing the same thing at the same time.

As my boys grow older, I am watching them day by day split personalities from each other right in front of my eyes. I am seeing them literally become the opposite of each other. Where one is dominant the other might not be. Where one child struggles the other may excel. Where one chooses art the other feels the need to name himself the sports guy. 

They have always been close. Up until about 5 years old, they have always been pretty similar. They haven't been too competitive(I tried really hard to dodge that bullet and am still waiting for it I rear it's ugly head. I do have boys after all). So far, they really have genuine concern for one another. 

But now I see them everyday become the ying yang of each other. I am not sure how I feel about that. I am not sure why it is bugging me. 

I realize they are two separate people and I do not need them to be the same. I do not need them to be interested in the same thing but I have noticed a pattern lately that is unsettling.

I am seeing if one kid excels at something it kind of counts the other kid out. For example: if one guy shoots the ball really well, I see the other guy slink as if to say "well I guess he is the one that will be better at basketball". I watch them mentally assign themselves or their brother different roles and then not also trying that role out for themselves. Almost as if they see themselves as one unit. I wonder if anyone else out there has noticed this too? 

So help me out, are your twins the opposite of each other? Do you think it is like a marriage where you kind of just pick up where your spouse leaves off? At what age did you notice them splitting up?  How do you or did handle this? What happens next? Feel free to leave your comments below.

1 comment:

Flying_Monkey said...

My boys are 17 months apart, (although I had strangers ARGUE with me that they WERE TOO twins!), but I notice some of this in them, too. As toddlers, it was really obvious that "he's artistic" and "he's musical" etc. Strangely, it evened out again later. As teens, the Artistic one excels in choir and still loves to draw intricate maps. The Musical one has a long-running comic strip with rats as the main characters (including Sherluck Rat :)) but hopes to branch out into a third instrument in band next year. I suspect your boys will do something similar, but I bet it's almost impossible to avoid comparisons (in their eyes and in yours) when they really ARE twins. It was pretty darn hard here.