Our long story shortened...

20 years of being in love

14 years of marital bliss

5 years of infertility

9 months of a high risk pregnancy

2 perfect boys (at the same time)

1 heart failure

1 type 1 diabetes diagnosis

1 happy life

To see the whole story click on the "about us" tab

Posts people liked!

About me

My photo
I am a stay at home mom who is raising twins. One of my guys has type 1 diabetes and one does not. I am writing this blog to unite type 1 parents or twin parents. Comment on my posts or in the "what's your high?" and "what's your low?" to join the community of parents just trying to do the best we can!

We won!





Today is a good day. Rocco's numbers have been in the 100’s all day. He is currently slurping his favorite after school snack - chicken noodle soup. It is autumn and it is getting colder. Soup was the perfect option.

Today as I watch him slurp his soup, I wonder about his future. As I do, many thoughts creep into my mind. At six, I feel pretty good about the type of man he will become. My crystal mommy ball says he will take care of his diabetes responsibly. He is already handling it so well. He has never played with his insulin pump like a toy. He has never pulled his port out because he was curious. I also believe he understands that his diabetes, if handled the wrong way, is life threatening. Well, as best as a six year old understands life or death.

Often, I visualize moments of his future in my mind. I think of him taking off his pump to play football and knowing just how much insulin or carbs to give himself so he can sustain his energy throughout the game. I see him checking his blood sugar before the SAT’s to ensure he stays focused. I see him bringing all the necessary equipment for his care during his honeymoon.

These are the Pollyanna thoughts I have. My worrisome mother instinct sometimes eats at me like a devil on my shoulder. That devil says "what happens if he wants to binge drink in college?" or "what happens if in 5th grade they call him robot boy because he has a pump?". Just as every mother does, I worry.

I also worry about whether he will get low during a business meeting and "blow the deal". I wonder if his wife will check his blood sugar at night. I wonder how he will react when he is sixteen and I ask how his blood sugar numbers have been all day. I wonder if I will be as patient with him while he learns as he was while I learned.

It is also hard to imagine letting him take control of his diabetes. Currently, my husband and I handle everything except when he is in school. Then there is a Mary Poppins type lady that cares for him during the day. What will it look like when it is just him? No me, no dad, and no Mary Poppins.

How am I supposed to let him just learn? How am I supposed to let him make mistakes, mistakes that I know are either life threatening or will make him feel awful? I know he is going to want to ride his bike up to Dairy Queen and get the 131 carb large Blizzard like all of his friends. Finally, at what age or point do I let him take the reigns?

Gosh! Sometimes, these thoughts seem so overwhelming to me. So today, once he finishes his soup, I guess I’ll just teach him how to add and subtract...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Shari I understand how you feel. No matter what it is your child is dealing with you will always have those thoughts. Always wonder did I teach him everything I could to make sure his life is wonderful and worry free. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't worry about mine and he is 21. We become our parents sad to say, but we can't help it...Sherri