Our long story shortened...

20 years of being in love

14 years of marital bliss

5 years of infertility

9 months of a high risk pregnancy

2 perfect boys (at the same time)

1 heart failure

1 type 1 diabetes diagnosis

1 happy life

To see the whole story click on the "about us" tab

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I am a stay at home mom who is raising twins. One of my guys has type 1 diabetes and one does not. I am writing this blog to unite type 1 parents or twin parents. Comment on my posts or in the "what's your high?" and "what's your low?" to join the community of parents just trying to do the best we can!

We won!






So here I sit and struggle. Another twin dilemma.

Rocco loves the physical. He likes to be bigger than life in sports and non-sports settings. One time, we were in Target and behind me a very loud "ALRIGHT PEOPLE LISTEN UP!" was yelled. Imagine my horror to turn around and see it was MY little three year old with one of these echoing microphones in his hand. I swear the whole store heard him. He, of course, had a cat that ate the canary look on his face. Finally he was able to be as big as he really wanted to be!

For Rocco, sports satisfy this need. He is shorter than most but is stocky and has been deemed the heart of the team in every sport he plays. He just loves the win and gives every game his all. He is the kind of kid a coach loves.

Zeke, on the other hand, could care less about the win. He is the strong, silent and creative type. He wants to be good, but unfortunately he has inherited his parents’ aptitude for any game - none at all. He has a great long and lanky stature and could probably physically handle any sport, but he just lacks the drive. There were many times last winter when I drove him to basketball practice whining, afraid to be embarrassed or laughed at. Most days, I had to bribe him with treats (the kind his diabetic brother is not allowed to have). The first day of practice, the whole thing overwhelmed him so badly that he panicked and ended up crying in the bathroom with me. I had to bribe him with ice cream to try to get him to go out there and try. I knew that would work and it did.

So you are probably asking - "Why don’t you just let Rocco play and Zeke watch?”  Or “They are twins but are two separate people and don’t have to do the same thing every time".  And finally, the obvious one "If you make him play, you will screw up his self esteem".

Ok even if you didn't think these thoughts, I did. I’ve had moments  when I wanted to grab him, bubble wrap him and never let him touch another ball again. Heck with it! Many great men never played sports.

However, then my thoughts went old school. Pretend to hear an old man's voice while you read the next few lines:

"Just throw him in, he'll be fine".
"If you let him quit everything, he will grow up to be a quitter".
"He's six! He doesn't know what he wants".
"He needs to man up and just overcome his fears".
And finally my husband’s wise advice: "When I was a kid, we didn't get a choice.  If we sucked, we just kept practicing until we got better".

So I kind of went with the last comment. There have been many tears but also tons of wins and highs for Zeke along the way. He’s not a superstar but by the last game he thought he was. That was actually my goal the whole time. In the long run, I was glad I didn't let him quit.

In the spring, t-ball had gone the exact same way - tears, bribes and wins. And now that the new basketball season is upon us, my husband, Zeke and I decided to sign him up again to play with Rocco.  Zeke said "Sign me up mom - that was fun last year!"

However, I find that it is again like pulling teeth to get Zeke to practice. Every day, we go out to the driveway and do bounce pass and dribble drills. Zeke gamely tries, but it is not his passion. If I was being honest with myself, I would just honor the child that he is and not force him to be the child he is not. But I also feel there are so many opportunities for learning experiences with sports that he would miss if I just signed him up for an art class.

What do you think? Is the new-school way of thinking (just let them quit things that are not interesting to them) or the old school way (sink or swim) better? I’d love to hear your thoughts below.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

You are knocking it out of the park. Love you your fresh and honest voice.