To iPad or not to iPad? That is the question.

One and a half years ago, my mom called and asked if she had permission from my husband and I to get the boys iPad minis for Christmas. She wanted to give all of her grandkids an awesome Christmas and knew this would do the trick! My initial thought was, "Heck yeah! Now, I don't have to buy them!" My very practical hubby was initially against it. He claimed they were too young for such an expensive device. "What would happen if they were on them all the time?," he asked. I reassured him that we were responsible parents and such devices would come with rules (yeah, right!). After my mom and I worked our magic and wore him down, we all agreed to spoil them and let the games begin! Literally!

That Christmas was everything my mom hoped it would be! It quite possibly might go down as the greatest Christmas in the history of Christmases according to all five grandchildren! The kids loved them. However, this was the problem. They LOOOOVEEd them. Every. Single. Day. I became one of the many generations of mothers who's children receive "the coolest game system ever" and then turns into a lunatic every time they play it - for more than the one hour that "the experts" say they should play. By the way, is that still a rule? I really need to know the rule but I am too afraid to look it up, and see the result, in case it really still is an hour a day. Oh God! It must be up to three hours per day for screen time by now, right? Doesn't it increase once more kids get the devices? Apple had a record year last year! Kindle? Same. Surely, this means the screen time limit went up, right?

Anyway, multiply my screen time anxiety by 10 when you throw diabetes in the mix. Not sure about your children but Rocco's blood sugar rises when he is sedentary. It also rises when he is stressed out. So now, take a nine year old Type 1 kid, give him an amazingly, cool piece of machinery and load up the Hunger Games for Minecraft and watch the blood sugar soar! Mix in a little lunch before and wait about an hour. Yep! Within about an hour, he is usually climbing into the 300s. So, I curse myself almost every day for not, once again, listening to my very practical husband.

In the non-D world, most moms let their kids turn on their devices and enjoy the silence for the duration of the game time. Let's be honest, the devices are like little off switches for kids. I'd be lying if I didn't enjoy the automatic ability to hear my own thoughts when those flat, little machines power up. Sometimes I even sing the line from that Depeche Mode song- Enjoy the Silence while I do a little jig in my kitchen. But then, after the first half hour and groan from his direction (because he lost or got killed or got kicked out) my D-Mom spider senses start to tingle. I know the trifecta of the sitting around, the anxiety of the game and the lunch, are running a number on my guy. The silence is different for a D Parent. We are on the clock. So, at first I pretend not to hear his frustration from the other room. The silence is too alluring. Wily temptress. Luring me back. Enveloping me back into her warm blanket which are my thoughts and laundry folding. "Argh!" I hear it again. The hair on the back of my neck stands up. Then I mentally add 100 blood sugar points to his perfect 125 pre-lunch blood sugar. "Argh!", I say to myself mirroring his comment but for a much different reason. Thoughts of telling him to dose himself another .5 units of insulin to offset the spike go through my mind. Sometimes, I do tell him to dose himself. However, when the next groan is heard, I don't know if he is spiking or dropping. Usually the extra squirt of insulin just confuses my DMom internal voice. 

So sure enough, once "my time" (Oops! I mean their iPad time) is up. I go to check his blood sugar and yep, the monitor reads in the 300s. That's usually when I silently curse myself for trying to be a cool mom and let them have the devices. Also, for letting them play on them for more than the expert recommended time. I do believe kids should have downtime. Whenever I go to their classrooms, I just want to take them home put them in a quite room, bundle them in blankets and hand them their iPads. Their days are exhausting! Then, after I doubt myself about six ways from Sunday, I turn my anger to the little fuzzy monster, I sometimes conjure up in my imagination, called diabetes. Even a little bit of downtime has to be considered a potential threat to these kids. Grrrr! I can feel my blood pressure rise with my anger and silently appreciate that it's not my blood sugar, like my poor little guy. However, like every single D parent on the planet we would happily take over this disease for our kids. Any amount rising blood sugar would be fine with us, if our kids didn't ever have to live with it again. My mind floats to better days of a diabetes free world until I snap out of it and realize the kids got another five minutes out of me! So, I yell at the kids to "Turn those stupid things off and go outside and play!" I silently giggle as I hear my mother's words erupt out of my mouth! "Go outside and play!" are words that never out of style. Diabetes or not! So, I decide, while I watch them play in the snow (enjoying the dropping blood sugar with every running step he takes) tomorrow is another day. I will do better tomorrow.

P.S. I found a website that agrees with me that screen time can be two hours now. So, feel free parents, iPad away! Yay us! Oops! I mean yay them! Permission granted, at least from me...

Back to School with Type 1 Diabetes

 

Hi everyone, 

How was your summer? Mine has gone by fast! Working full-time has zapped me of my creative, writing juices. Darn it! Getting home at 6 pm, then cooking something edible, then showers for the boys, then trying to read so they are not completely illiterate by the time they re-enter thier school, has been kind of a whirlwind. 

One thing I am trying not to stress about this year is bedtime. Usually around 9 pm, I am yelling at two "not-so-tired" boys to "GET IN BED!"  so that they aren't falling asleep by lunchtime.  However, I am learning that this actually works itself out without any pushing from me. The kids are always so dead-dog-tired that first week of school, that they usually beg me  to get in their cozy beds by 8:30 pm. For me, that is good enough. So, I am going to try no yelling this year. Hope my plan works! 

Another thing I'm going to do is cheat. I'm not sure if it is cheating, if I cheat off myself and I wanted to invite you to cheat from me too. I'm a giver. Lol! I am re-posting last year's post that was a big hit with parents of what diabetes supplies to pack for your child's school days. 

Please note: this is NOT a comprehensive list. It is only the best way that works for Rocco and I. Think of it as a springboard for you and your child/children. Also, please share. If I have left something out that works for you, please leave it in a comment below so myself and everyone else can see your good idea too! It really does take a village! 

Click here for last year's post on going back to school:

http://www.everydayhighsandlows.com/2012/09/back-to-school-is-full-time-job.html

I hope and pray each of your children have a safe and healthy year! 

XOXO, 

Shari 

How will the siblings feel?

When all of the excitement from our thrilling, educational and inspiring Washington trip calmed down, I woke up one morning with Zeke. 

Zeke is our early bird. Always has been. If it weren’t for Zeke, Michael, myself and Rocco wouldn’t wake up until 11 a.m. We are grateful Zeke gets up to get the day moving. He is a 7:00 a.m. kid during the school year and 8:00 a.m. during the summer. The hours are great.

I am usually the next to wake up. My mommy senses one of my bear cubs is awake and I need to feed him some breakfast. The great news is, I get “special mommy-Zeke time” which is what we nicknamed it. We make Eggo waffles, I make some Chai tea and we sit on the deck. Now, our new puppy Shay joins us. I actually think it’s my favorite time of the day. 

As any mom (or parent) knows, getting one of your children by themselves for any time alone is a wonderful treat for you both. The quality time during those moments are better than any Disney trip or new toy you could ever buy. The best news is we don’t have any agenda. I think of it as a time to just talk and listen but most importantly to hear. I like to hear his take on the/his world. I like to hear his fears or joys for the moments. Also, I like to hear him grow-up as he discusses friend conversations or school worries. 

However this specific morning, I looked at him with his speckled body and his boxer shorts. Zeke has recently gotten vitiligo. It is an autoimmune disease whereby your body attacks your skin pigmenting cells. It happened a couple of months ago. At first I was terrified. What would this do to my beautiful, little boy’s self esteem? As I watched helplessly as it spread from his torso to his arms, legs and slightly to his face. I felt frozen and out of control. The same way I felt as Rocco’s diabetes attacked his pancreas. Currently, we are treating Zeke with a steroid cream to dull the spots and stop the progression.  My mom, mother-in-law and two of my best friends swear it is barely noticeable. Thank God for my pale, Norwegian heritage. The spots are less noticeable with paler skin. 

Regardless, as I looked at him with his newly, speckled body shoving his waffle in his mouth talking light-heartedly about yet another “COOL” thing on Minecraft, I wondered. As I often do, I wondered. 

How will Zeke perceive Rocco’s diabetes?
How will Zeke feel about being the one who didn’t get it? 
Will he resent the fact that every day is dictated by his brother’s disease? 
Will he feel grateful and, at the same time, feel sorry for his brother once he fully understands what his twin will endure throughout their separate lives? 
Will he feel Rocco’s pain when they are across the globe from each other pursing their careers? 
Will he feel a responsibility to care for his brother in college and in their adult life?

Whenever I meet a sibling of a person with type one diabetes. My first question I ask them is, “Were you ever resentful of the attention they got from your parents as a child.” 
Over the years, I have asked about 30-40 siblings. Thankfully, they all look at me as if to say, “How dare you ask that!” and answer, “NO! Of course not, I was always sad that my brother/sister went through so much pain.” I keep asking because that answer is what I want and NEED to hear. I somehow HAVE to know that as hard as I try to make this “no big deal” and “part of our lives” that it is not secretly saddening, harming or infiltrating my other child. That it is not permanently damaging him in a long-term way. It is incredibly difficult to be the sibling of a child with any affliction, especially a life-threatening one. The parent’s attention doesn’t have the luxury of ignoring the situation for a day or even an hour. I am sure this is felt, seen and heard by the sibling. However, it is what it has to be. The parents can just do their best to wake up early with their non-afflicted children, steal precious moments and somehow make them feel “as paid attention to”. 

Sometimes, about once a month, I check in with Zeke. I sometime just ask him. “How do you feel about Rocco’s diabetes?” or “Is mommy loving you enough?” So far I have never asked him, “Do you feel left out?” Because I have had friend’s do that and it became that child’s “thing” to pull out if they ever felt treated unfairly. KInd of like if you put the idea in their head they will make it part of who they are. Which ironically is the EXACT reason you asked the child in the first place... 

My perfect little Zeke gets what I am asking, I think, and sometimes will talk to me about it. Sometimes he does tell me about a time he didn’t feel heard or loved. I try to explain  to him what was happening in my brain at the time, I apologize and it kind of clears the air - even if does kill me a little each time. Because the boys are my “first child” I am trying to navigate my way through each scenario without a compass and without perspective of a previous child. Maybe this is the reason I worry so much for Zeke. I am desperately nervous about making him feel slighted during his childhood.

Anyway, on this morning he said, “Mom, when am I going to go to the Congress?” 
I giggled a little about the words he chose to explain his brother’s activity. 
“Whenever you want.” I said kind of wimping out and tossing the control back to him. Hoping to empower him. I knew it worked when he stood up, smiled a big smile, made his body into an eqyptian-type stance and then, his speckled self, said, “SAVE THE WORLD FROM VITILIGO!” 

As Zeke does many times a day, once again, he reassured me that he his growing up juuuuusssttt fine! 

Thanks Zeke! 

Again...

How are you going to change the world today?

A long time ago, I watched and episode of Oprah. She was interviewing Maria Shriver. Maria was speaking about how wonderful her parents were. She said every morning her dad would wake up the kids and one by one whisper in their ear, "How are you going to change the world today?"

At the time, I was desperately trying to have children and I memorized this idea. I thought it was so cool to empower children like that. Well, since then while most days start with "YOU GUYS STOP PLAYING THAT STUPID MINECRAFT AND GET DRESSED!" Once in a while I remember Mr Shriver and ask them the question.

When they were three and I whispered it to Zeke, he responded, "I'm going to love you more..." Beautiful Zeke.

Well, I can proudly say tomorrow morning, when I wake up my seven-year-old Rocco, I am going to whisper that question to him. He will be able to answer, "I'm going to Washington D.C. to meet with my Congressmen and tell them what my life is like with Type 1 Diabetes. Then, they will vote to renew the Special Diabetes Program that will cure diabetes for everyone."

WOW! Well, I am sure he will probably say, "I'm going to make a floating, glass house in Minecraft!" But he very well could answer what I said above! A girl can always dream...

Truthfully though, we are so excited to have an opportunity to help people with diabetes everywhere. Rocco amongst 164 other children will go to Capitol Hill and speak with their Congressmen. They will show them scrapbooks they made that tell their story of what it is like to live with this disease and to put a face to the paper that will help cure them all.

JDRF is simply amazing! This process has been handled so seamlessly. Getting one D kid on an airplane is monumental. Getting 165 of them and handling all their care during three days, deserves a Noble Peace Prize! Just amazing.

So, we are off tomorrow! We fly into D.C. later at night but I will be posting pictures along the way.

Keep checking Everyday Highs and Lows every day because I will be posting lots of pictures of the fun! Wish us luck! We'll get this done for you, your child and the thousands of others checking their blood sugar right now.

Here is Rocco's video that he made for the Children's Congress website!

D Connections!

I feel so lucky sometimes to live in this world of technology and also with my wonderful community of parents raising kids with diabetes. 

Today, the two worlds combined and in ten minutes my life was made happier! 

Here's what happened:

A wonderful DMom put up a post on Facebook asking if anyone knew where she could get a certain kind of "poker"/lancing device. I was so excited to see my old friend in the picture. 

We used this one when Rocco was first diagnosed at two. When it broke we used many others but he started complaining that they hurt. I tried to find our favorite kind but they had all been replaced by the newer versions. Eventually we got used to a different kind (multiclix) but we both have been sad our old friend had retired. 

But, alas!! Facebook saves the day again! 

A great DMom posted that she could still get them. She sent a post on FB and said she would send one right away. I noticed she was from Alaska! How cool is that!? 

I quickly added her as a friend so I could send her my address. 

Wow! That was easy! 

I was so grateful and I wanted to thank her. At first, I thought about her sending a thank you card. Hmmm.. Do I have stamps??? An e-card? Too impersonal.. But then I remembered Starbucks lets you email e-cards to people through email! 

So she sent me her email after insisting that I didn't have to and said she understood once these kids like something to make this life easier that she was just happy to help. 

So I launched my Starbucks app. Paid thru PayPal. And just like that. Posted a gift card to her Facebook page! 

In between loads of laundry, I made my little guy happy, made a new friend across the country and sent a thank you gift! 

I did a little happy dance as I switched the towels from the washer to the dryer! 

The world is so cool sometimes!!! DMoms can do anything! Thanks Kristina! 💃💃👫

Happy Martyr's Day everyone!

You have a lot of time on your hands when you are not being someone's pancreas...

My husband took the boys camping for the weekend to one of last remaining remote areas with no cell phone service. 

I have three days with no one to take care of. Let me just say that again so it sinks in...

I have three days with no one to take care of! Wow! That felt good. 

Truthfully, I am giddy! No cell phone texts with blood sugar numbers. No snacks. No meals. No whining. No talking about farting. No little boy toys. No fighting over "just one more level". Best of all, no Minecraft!!!!

I don't even have my new puppy yet! 

Just me for three whole days and only my wants and needs! Yippee! Gee... Gosh, I wonder what those will actually be... Seriously. I have no idea. 

Ok what to do first? Drink? Unabashedly, eat carbs?  Call and catch up with my BFFs? Clean the house of any trace of my family? 

I know... NAP!!!! Nap without the cell phone glued to my head. 

So since I dropped them off I made a list of how my first night went! 

Drove home from dropping the boys with my husband. Turned on inappropriate Eminem and sang really loud! 

Saved a turtle (see the post below).

Got home turned off the phone and took a NAP! 

Was so excited to take nap I forgot about a conference call I was supposed to be on and missed half of it once I woke up. Sorry to my friends who had to wait.  I'm sure you understand. You have D kids too!

Wrote a blog post.

Turned in an article for my job.

Wore Jammies from 5 til noon the next day. 

Played with my bird.

Texted BFFs.

Sat on the deck and stared into space. Had original thoughts. Some deep. Some not. 

Drank a beer.

Checked phone for a blood sugar reading.

Again...

Again...

Posted something on FB so when I checked the phone there might be something to actually check. I knew I fooling myself into thinking I was checking phone for Facebook love when reality is that I have a terrible habit of checking it when Rocco isn't with me. 

Wished I knew how to smoke because smoking in my house without anyone was around would probably be fun.

Listened to Pink on my iPod and sang really loudly!! 

Danced uninhibited.   Around the whole house. 

Cleaned bird cage. 

Straightened house for an hour. Putting/erasing any signs of my needy family. Put away shoes, kid cups, back packs, socks, husband's randoms, lunch boxes, toothbrushes, wiped toothpaste out of sinks. 

Looked around when I was done and it looked too pretty. Too neat. It was eery. So I left my glass in the sink and didn't wipe down the kitchen table. There. Better. 

Thought about how lonely I will be when they go to college. Cried a little about the idea if it. Cried a little more when I looked at their baby pictures. 

Then spied a pair of little boy superhero underware left behind the bathroom door AGAIN and got over all that sadness real quickly. Counted how many years til college. 

Danced again. 

Did a load of laundry.

Realized I hadn't checked phone in an hour. Progress. 

Looked in a magazine. Made a mental to-do list of all things I probably will never do like make a planter, make the perfect pot roast and lose my belly fat. 

Ate some carbs and didn't check the box for the carb count. Why are uncrustables the world's perfect food? 

Locked up the house and covered the bird cage. Silently thanked my husband for always doing these tasks each night to protect us all. 

Snuggled in to watch Scandal my favorite show. Ate a mini snickers. Checked the carbs out of habit. Cursed myself for my lack of progress and ate one more. 

Watched three more shows. Stayed up until 1 am because tomorrow I DON'T HAVE TO WAKE UP FOR ANYONE. 

Included a prayer to let me please not wake up wide awake at 7. Please God! 

Didn't check my son's midnight blood sugar number and didn't set my alarm for  his 3 am blood sugar number. Silently thanked my husband for doing these tasks for me for the next three nights! In the woods. 

Fell asleep happy! 

The next couple of days were pretty much the same thing. On purpose, I didn't do any dishes all weekend. I realized, pretty much, I only use glasses, bowls and paper plates. Ha! 

Checking my phone became less frequent as I kept myself busy with seeing friends, and shopping with my mom and sister. I slept in every morning until 9 am. I couldn't force myself past that. 

On Saturday night, I missed them terribly. Checking my phone now became a habit again, but this time not for blood sugar numbers, but for any sign of them. Sometimes they can text from the river. By Saturday night, my house felt eery again, like I was missing something.  Sunday morning, I woke up and decided to do their laundry. I was going to avoid any kid-related chores all weekend but couldn't help myself.  It felt like home again to have all their crap laid out on the couches. I was happy to miss them. 

I think every mother on Mother's Day who has young children should get this present. Not flowers or candy but a chance to see how boring life would be without our kids and get a chance to miss them. 

Yes, I know ten minutes after they get home today, I will be rolling my eyes at their silly/"stupid" antics. But this time, I think the eye roll with come with a little happy, smirk on my face. Realizing the silliness of being seven won't be here for long and I should appreciate the pre-bedtime giggly show they put on every night as, actually not one more thing in my way but, part of the fun! 

Thanks Michael for the gift of appreciating you all again and shouldering the kid-raising responsibility for a weekend! I missed you! 

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers out there! I hope you get a chance to miss your kids soon too! You deserve the break! 

To my own mother, thank you for raising me with all the unconditional love you had! I am nothing without you. You are my rock and I love you. Most of all, I appreciate you. 

Here are some funny cartoons for your reading pleasure. 

Don't forget to like our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/everydayhighsandlows

Oh, what a night!

What an amazing night! Last night, my little guy Rocco was able to share his story to raise some money for the Artificial Pancreas Project with JDRF. It was a black tie affair that invited people to come and participate in a live and silent auction. I have been to a silent auction before but not a live one. It was so thrilling to see those paddles fly up knowing that each generous donation would be able to directly affect Rocco by (hopefully) middle school. Throughout the night, I was humbly touched by everyone's random generosity toward the cause. In the middle of the auction, as the auctioneer was yelling out numbers and paddle were flying, I made a promise to myself. I decided to longer sit on the sidelines, as I have done in the past, and wait for someone else to help Rocco. A cure is getting close but a better way of life for Rocco is even closer. It is my turn to help. I have to forget about being shy and afraid to ask people to give. I have to ask because people are kind-hearted and they want to help. Our family alone raised $1210!!!! Just by asking a couple of times on Facebook. It was $210 over a goal I really thought we would NEVER reach. It was humbled by their love for Rocco and his daily struggle. Their special gifts overwhelmed my heart but taught me that if I find my courage and just politely ask, I can make life easier for him. If he could get an artificial pancreas by middle school, he won't get teased by his friends that his "mommy" has to follow him around. This hasn't happened to us yet but I have seen it happen to other children who's mother's post their terribly sad stories on Facebook. I know that eventually kids can take a mean turn. An artificial pancreas will give Rocco freedom to handle his diabetes, on his own. 

The way it works is a simple concept partner with mind-blowing technology.  It will automatically check his blood sugar every three minutes and show up on his insulin pump. If the number goes higher than a good range his pump will automatically give him insulin. If his blood sugar goes low it will beep and tell him to eat before it gets dangerous. People in the US are already wearing these and testing them. Eventually, it will be tested and safe for kids. It is so close and that is why I promised myself to start helping. I have a voice. I need to use it. I will use it. 

My next step is the Children's Congress where Rocco and I will go and urge lawmakers to continue funding the research needed for the Artificial Pancreas Project and the cure. It is in danger of not being passed. Then, I will do the walk this year and that will take us into the Fall. After that, maybe I can do something at the boy's school. Who knows... I do know that it just has to be done. I am blessed to have Rocco WANT to participate in all of it. He said the Promise Ball last night was fun and he liked being up near the stage. He said his favorite part was talking to the people. When he was a baby, before any of this diabetes stuff came to us, I told Michael that I saw him, in his future, at a podium. My friend recently said he sounded like a future Senator. He says he wants to rescue sea turtles. I'm not sure what he will become but something tells me this won't be his last time in a tux by a stage! It exciting to watch it all unfold! 

Anyway, here are some pictures from the fun night! 

Getting fitted! 

Zeke loved it too! 

I can't wait to put this one next to their prom photos! 

Little adults!

Please, don't get muddy before we leave... 

Rocco's first hors d' oeuvres! He was very intrigued by a lamb chop. 

Keeping them busy while the adults mingled. Don't judge! It was either this or they would start wrestling! Haha!

These were the other little angels in the video. They both have type one. They are sisters. Their mom and I have become such great friends during this process. We are blessed to know them. 

This is the wonderful superwoman that put it all together! What a talented lady! 

The grandmas! They looked so beautiful!!! 

Rocco was excited to see a mini bottle of ketchup all to himself. 

Our fancy meal of steak and salmon! Yummy! 

Now this picture here made it all worth it. I have been so worried that all this attention for Rocco would send Zeke into a tail spin. But, he was so nice to Rocco the whole night. He was sweet and at one point scruffied Rocco on the head and said "I'm here for ya bro!" which translates into "I'm proud of you" in brother language. I took Zeke out all day today to make it his special day. 

All done with dinner! Off to work! 

This was the auctioneer. He was really awesome. He sent an electric vibe through the whole audience that was really the reason that they raised so much money! The kids were asked to pass out roses to the highest bidders! Rocco said he passed them the rose then told them "Thanks for coming!" and the he said they high-fived and fist-bumped him. He was so small I could only see his little blonde head make it through the crowd. It was cute. 

My mother-in-law even got in on the auction action! 

And then my mom couldn't help herself! We all were so electrified! It was fun! 

Family photo.

Superwoman let us take home a momento!

Thanks to Jeff, Donna, Kristin, Skyler, Beeba, Aunt Mandy, Pete, Maddie, Cole, Kim, Stephanie, Cathy, Sarah, Evan, Candace, Sherri, Cheryl, Uncle Dave, Lynnette, Miss Karla, Mala, Ruth, Kelli and Coach Dave for helping me exceed my goal!!! 

You all rock! 

The best part of the night is that they raised 

$770,000!!!!! 

So impressive! What a night! What fun to help!