Christmas! yeah! ugh...

I am so conflicted when it's Christmas time. Having young kids makes it truly "the most wonderful time of the year"! But my complicated life of having twins (one with diabetes) makes me anxious. Many challenges spring up at this time of the year. You may be able to relate if you have twins or a child with diabetes or even if you have two kids.

On the twin side, the boys are now six. They share some similar interests but are becoming their own men. I can still buy Legos and Star Wars items and put both names on the tags, but this year their Christmas lists are quite different. You can really see their personalities showing through when they write a Christmas list, can't you? I used to be able to just buy two of everything, but not anymore.

I am anxious to see how Christmas morning will work. For example, one kid asked for a giant elephant. I had no idea what this meant and truly was afraid to ask. So I ("Santa") bought him a big elephant stuffed animal. The other kid didn't ask for a giant anything so I didn't buy him any type of stuffed animal. I wonder if he will complain about it on Christmas morning. We will see.

One idea my friend told me about was to buy the double-sided wrapping paper and wrap Rocco's gifts in one color and Zeke's in the other. I know this is simple but it sounds awesome! I bought the huge roll of double-sided wrapping paper from Costco this year. I hate wrapping gifts, and anything that makes it easier I willdefinitely try.

The second part of Christmas that makes me anxious has to do with the food. My family has become so good about helping me serve "carb friendly foods". That includes the extended family as well. The first Christmas after Rocco's diagnosis, we were only a diabetic family for three months. My mom, aunts and uncles were new to it as well. My father-in-law has had Type 1 diabetes for 30 years, and he was very helpful in counting carbs when we went to his house.

The other Christmas parties we visited that year were a total disaster! The boys were only two. Food was everywhere and sweets were on display! I was tempted myself to over indulge. Imagine a two year old who sees that same sweets table. Not one item had a carb count on it, and my husband and I had no ideahow many carbs were in anything. Now you can hold up any food in front of me and I can guess the amount, give or take a few carbs. By the final party that first year (my mom's), I was exhausted. I just didnt have it in me to work through diabetes and the terrible twos and the holiday season for another minute.

But then I walked into my beautiful mom's house on Christmas day. As I was taking my shoes off and helping my toddlers take off their coats, my mom came to me with a stack of processed food boxes.

"I tried to cook only things with carb counts”, she said. “It may be a processed food Christmas, but at least we can measure how much he eats".

Even as I type this, I still get tears in my eyes. I will remember this sentiment as long as I live. It meant so much to have someone just understands our world and tries to help. I texted her later and told her his "going to sleep" blood sugar number was a perfect 110. She has truly been a godsend ever since. Thank you mom!

As we have gone through additional Christmases, it has gotten easier. We’ve become experts on eye-balling food and knowing carb counts. My father-in-law and I make a contest out of guessing the number. Then we look it up to see who won!

So, even though the thought of Christmas sometimes gives me hives, I still get excited as that most magical day approaches!

What are your Christmas challenges?

Pork rinds?

My mom told me pork rinds have 0 carbs. I had never tried these morsels but always heard people love them. The idea that Rocco could "pig out" on a whole bag of what resembled chips got me excited to try them! So I ran out and get a bag. The general consensus... Yuck! The boys and I hated them. Don't waste the money! No such luck here. Guess we are back to celery sticks.

snacktime at our house

It has been said over and over - "being a parent is tough".   The constant worry, the ever present questioning of oneself, and the deepest fear that something bad will happen to your child.  Well, for parents of children with diabetes we have those same feelings with a little extra kick.  For us, something bad has already happened to our children.  Something life-threatening is happening to our children every day.  Hour by hour, minute by minute and carb by carb, our lives are in a constant state worry and concern, especially around something as simple as snack time.  

Here is an example of my family's snack time.  One of my boys says "moooom, I'm hungry".  Instantly, the hair on the back of my neck stands up.  These words elicit the following thoughts: "I wonder if Rocco’s blood sugar is high or low?”.  "I wonder what he will want?".   "I hope it works with and not against his current blood sugar level".  "If he is low, let him crave something with carbs and if he is high please for the love of God let him crave celery".  I have yet to hear him say "I'd love some celery sticks, mom!", but a girl can still hope.  

Next, I think of his fingers.  One more poke in his little fingers to check his level.  Most children with type 1 diabetes average 6-10 finger sticks per day.  I constantly think to myself, "you only get one set of hands and it you can't get a finger transplant" and then I have to decide to check or guess. Sometimes, I take a leap of faith and guess the number, depending on his mood, his past meal, his exercise level and whether  he looks pale (low) or is biting his nails (high).  But, most times I check him. 

Finally, I consider his twin brother who does not have diabetes and who almost always wants a Gogurt which has lots of sugar. I then wonder "Will  Rocco be low enough to handle Zeke’s Gogurt request?".  If they request something that works against the current blood sugar level, there is a typical sad kid groan when I deny the request.   Once again, Zeke is put on hold because of Rocco’s blood sugar level.  Sometimes Rooco says "Its ok mom, Zeke can have the Gogurt - I can wait until my sugar comes down".  This is when my heart leaps out of my chest in pride and breaks a little at the same time.

Thankfully, I am blessed with boys who will eat anything I call food and put in front of them.  Most days go well.  Sometimes I can say "Yay! Rooco's number is 52. Juice boxes all around!" - these are a coveted treat in our household.  Once, I overheard Rocco whispering "Dear God, please let me be low so Zeke and I can have our Nerds Ropes".  I laughed and gave them the Nerd Ropes anyway even though Rocco was in the 200’s.  The good news is that pushing a button on Rocco’s insulin pump can effectively offset such indiscretions!  Another time, Zeke said "Moooom, Rooco's low - can we have candy?".  Being four years old at the time, it’s remarkable that Zeke would be privy to such pertinent information. Stinker! 

So even though having a child with diabetes means extra care and attention to everything my child eats, I do feel blessed that at least it is manageable, for now.  I feel lucky to be able to teach him healthier habits than I probably would have. I am proud he is growing up heathy, happy and so far pretty well-adjusted.